Bishop Jones Homily on the occassion of the Celebration of Marriage in Castlerea on Sunday, July 10 2011

MASS CELEBRATING MARRIAGE ANNIVERSARIES
       OF
  ELPHIN DIOCESE IN ST. PATRICK’S CHURCH CASTLEREA
      10 JULY 3.00p.m. 
              

Homily

“Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love and they blossom when we love the ones we marry”  Tom Mullen.

We believe in marriage.      We believe marriage brings many blessings and advantages to the couple themselves, to their children and to society.     The Irish Constitution pledges to guard the institution of marriage with special ‘care’ as the foundation of the family, the ‘natural primary and fundamental unit group of society’ (Art 41.1.1).      Marriage is the bedrock of a strong stable society.    When the family based on marriage is supported and functions well, society benefits.

Yet, as Bishops, we are very aware that marriage and married couples face enormous challenges today.     Financial worries, work demands, pressure of time, a  culture that separates sexual activity from commitment, (these are just some of the pressures faced by married couples today.

We believe in marriage because we believe in God’s love.    We believe the love of a man and woman in marriage is a vital symbol of God’s love for the world.    Marriage, as with every vocation, is rooted in God’s plan for love.

Twenty-five, forty, fifty or sixty years ago you stood before the altar in some Church.     Before the Lord, the local community and your priest you pledged to give yourselves to each other forever.       And you promised to honour that pledge “for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health until death”.

All of  us are here to celebrate and give thanks to God that you have honoured that pledge to this day.

Challenging Times

I am certain that your relationship with each other  has been challenged on many occasions.     I am sure there were times when you disagreed totally with each other.   I am sure there were times of silence in your relationship
when you wondered if you would ever speak to each other again.    I am sure there were times when you knew you had hurt your wife or husband but could not find the humility in your heart to say sorry – sorry – that word so small but so powerfully healing.

Through the challenges of everyday life you have survived and no doubt you have grown through it all in your love for God and for each other.

Of course we all recognize that relationships can break down totally for unavoidable reasons and we know that because of marriage breakdown there are lone parents making heroic efforts to prepare their children in love for life.    Therefore I do not wish to be judgemental in anything I say.

The Significance of Marriage for Parents, Children and Society

As I grow older I become more convinced that people and most politicians have no idea whatever of how important marriage is not only for the married couple but for their children and ultimately for society.
              
Research today proves beyond doubt that the family rooted in a loving marriage provides the best possible environment for parents, children and society.     Children who grow up in homes of love become mature, secure, self-confident and happy citizens.      Children who grow up in homes where there is no love or no security invariably become dysfunctional adults costing the State billions of Euro every year through delinquency, drugs and crime.

Does Society Care?

I ask you a simple question today; does Society care about Marriage or the Family?       When did you last hear a politician or a minister of Government speak of the importance of Marriage of Family Life for parents, for children and for the State.

The Most Important Institution of the State – Marriage

I am not finger-wagging or making judgements on those who do not marry and have children outside of the love and security of marriage but all of us must support and promote the most important institution of the State – Family rooted in Marriage.

 Under our Constitution our Government has a statutory obligation to promote and support the family rooted in marriage as the natural unit of society and as a moral Institution possessing inalienable and imprescriptable rights antecedent and superior to all positive law.

Quotation from Ian Duncan Smith

Let me quote a British Member of Parliament who is Secretary of State for work and pensions.     This quotation is taken from a speech he gave at the House of Commons to mark the start of Marriage Week in England.

“We do a disservice to society if we ignore the evidence that shows the importance of stable families for children.    The financial costs of marital breakdown are incredibly high with estimates ranging from £20 billion to £40 billion annually.      The human cost is infinitely greater.  The centre for  
social justice has found that those who do not grow up in a two parent family are 75% more likely to fail at school, 70% more likely to become addicted to
drugs and 50% more likely to have an alcohol problem.     There are few more powerful tools for promoting stability than the Institute of Marriage.

Some people say marriage is an institution no longer wanted by modern British Society but research in this area is fascinating.

Three quarters of those under thirty-five currently cohabitating want to get married.    Ninety percent of young people aspire to marriage.    The question we must ask is: if people from the youngest age aspire to make such a commitment in their lives what stops them from doing so.?

Smith goes on to say that the Government must remove the barriers and the penalties of  tax and social welfare benefits that make it far more financially feasible to cohabit than to marry.

Significance of Marriage in Sacred Scripture

The history of Marriage and Family Life confirms totally the significance that Sacred Scripture gives to Marriage.    In the very first Book of the Bible we read:  “ man shall leave father and mother and cleave to his wife – they are no longer two but one flesh”.     This clearly indicates that Marriage is a union of one man and one woman that is so intimate that the couple are no longer two but one body.     As Scripture says about marriage “what God has put together man must not separate”.     This confirms that God is present in every marriage drawing the couple closer to Himself and to each
other.     Indeed it is in their love for each other that a married couple find God in their relationship every day.

All through the Old Testament the love of God for His people is compared to the love of a husband and wife for each other.    Indeed the husband and wife are called upon to show forth in their homes and communities something of God’s love for all of us.

In the New Testament marriage between a baptized man and woman becomes a sacrament where Christ is sharing His life and love with the couple.      Now in the New Testament the love of Christ for His Church is compared to the love of husband and wife for each other in the sacrament of marriage.   The  married couple are called to show forth the love of Christ for His church by the way they love each other - even to die for each other as Christ did for His Church.

Conclusion

Whether we speak of research on marriage and the family or whether we reflect on Marriage and Family in Sacred Scripture there can be no doubt whatsoever that family rooted in marriage is the best possible environment for parents and their children and is indeed the most important institution in society.

Happiness And Joy Come From Relationships

The happiness of marriage comes not from job, money or house but from the relationship.    The pain of marriage comes from broken and betrayed relationships.   Married couples must invest as much time, energy and effort in their relationship with God and each other  as they invest in their job, their money or their house.

Yes we have every reason to celebrate and give thanks for all of you today.     You, your children and society in general have been enriched by the fidelity of your love in marriage and in the family.     You are special people and all of us owe you a deep debt of gratitude for working at your marriage and at your love for God and for each other.

A Celebrating Culture

We live in a society and culture which ignores what is best and beautiful in our marriages, families and communities and celebrates instead film stars, soap stars, pop stars and football stars.    We celebrate them even though the awards they receive are obscene.

Yes the institution which nurtured each generation and from which so many of us draw our strength, our life and encouragement goes unnoticed and totally unrewarded.    Surely the commitment of two people to put to one
side all selfish interest for the sake of each other and the children they raise has to be the best of us as human beings.

Marriage is about much more than two people exchanging expensive rings. 
When you promote and support marriage and family you are helping to defeat crime and addiction.     Marriage and Family are also an antidote to the self-obsessed culture of celebrity.   

My dear married couples never forget that the love you  have shared all your lives has its source in the fountain of God’s eternal love for all of us.     Therefore I appeal to you,  go to that fountain of God’s love every morning and evening through prayer.    Go also with your neighbours to the Sunday Eucharist where the unconditional love of God is celebrated in the passion, death and resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ.

Once again I thank you for coming and thank God for your lives of fidelity in Marriage and Family Life.

        Christopher Jones
        10 July  2011